Sunday, November 26, 2006

6 Secrets for Happier Life

Happiness comes from within. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Happiness is just within your reach. It’s just on the other side of the gnawing fear. It’s just on the other side of that self-defeating game that you keep on playing. The question is how do we get “there” from “here.” The question is what do you have to do?

The first secret to happiness is what makes you truly happy. It’s a difficult task to do especially if you really do this from your heart, not what your head tells you. Those things that you want are not same what anyone else wants for you. Happiness is feeling like I have a purpose and living my life with passion and vibrancy.
What is it that you really want in life? Do you want a stronger relationship with your spouse/partner? Do you want a more fulfilling career? Do you want to be able to sleep at night without any chatter in your head? Is your true desire to just want to get out of bed in the morning and embrace the day for what it is? Do you want to have a strong faith and put aside all fear and live life to the fullest?
Well, if you fall into any of these categories, then I encourage you to keep reading. We all want to be happy. But what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls is the willingness to do the work. In my own experience, I found that when I get into enough pain, I’m willing to go to any length to quit feeling the way I was feeling. Are you willing to go on a journey? Are you willing to trust a process that is rewarding?

The next step to achieving happiness is to identify what is not working in your life. There are several self-defeating games that we play, playing the victim, get them before they get us, being a problem, using drugs/alcohol/food, not showing up, and lying. Which of these games do you use and how? Write a paragraph on three times that you’ve used a self-defeating game. Write about how it worked for you, what it cost to you….

Another key step to creating a life of happiness is the power of choice. So many times, we do not think that I had a choice. Particularly abuse survivors think that they don’t have a choice in their situation. They are controlled by fear, but the truth is that if they were willing to step outside of their comfort zone and what seems normal to them, there are ways that they can get out of their situation. If you make the choice to stay in the situation however painful it was for you. Making healthy choices for ourselves gives us an amazing feeling of empowerment. It is something that is indescribable.

Taking Responsibility for our actions is probably the most difficult part of creating a life of happiness. You have to pretend that someone who you blame for something is standing in front of you; now point your finger at them. You have to realize that when you point the finger at someone else, you have 3 pointing back to you. By taking responsibility for your own actions and seeing where was wrong, you will be able to identify the things that you did to other people, therefore you will be able to truly make amends to them. By seeing your part, you can change a lot of behaviors.
Forgiveness is the next step. If you go through the process of forgiving the people that hurt you, you will start to feel that nothing in the world could stop you from having the happiness that you had longed for, for so long. Giving back is the final step in achieving the happiness that you want. As you began to de-clutter your heart and get rid of all the things that kept you in the darkness, your heart would felt full, you would felt alive, and you will start to feel that you had so much to offer the world.

Finally, we must have meaning in our life. We must feel that we matter and that what we do matters. We must know that we are valuable, valued and that our lives make a difference.

I hope that you will finally find the freedom that you so deserve.


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